Being manic is so intense. It’s not as fun as you think, allow me to explain. Restless nights, Racing thoughts, grandiose, over the top behavior and ideas , the I am on top of the world superhero feeling that really just sucks you dry. I know it’s not here forever, but it is irritating for the days it decides to show up. (Always at inconvenient times I might add, we need to sleep to function, right? I just want to scream sometimes.)
Having a manic episode is even more irritating when I’m taking medications that are supposed to be leveling my mood. Don’t get me wrong, they do work most of the time, but sometimes triggers just happen…oops. We aren’t perfect.
Currently, I am getting very annoyed by anonymous people telling me I should just go to therapy. (face palm.) What an ignorant thing to say to someone with a lifelong chemical imbalance of the brain, ok? It frustrates me to no end. I’ve been to therapy for the things in my life I’ve had to deal with and move past, that’s one thing, alright? I do what I can for my mental health in every aspect. Telling someone to go to therapy for Bipolar Disorder just gets under my skin.
This rollercoaster is for life. It never goes away. We can only continue to fight the war that’s going on inside of our brains. Luckily, with age and some wisdom now, it’s a little bit easier to understand my triggers and how to stay calm in the present and being mindful.
Not all of us are so lucky and some of us might surrender. I only hope my words can show some hope that while this does suck, having a support system and even a support group of like-minded individuals, not doctors, helps me immensely. Don’t let people who don’t understand this illness push you around or badger you into doing something that won’t necessarily help you.
This is your life and you should live it the way you want, as healthy as you can and to the best of your capabilities. I am absolutely not trying to sound negative. I love all of you, please stay strong and courageous.